3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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