dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
