apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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