he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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