Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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