fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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