these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
