Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just want nice things and good sex
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
