look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I could fuck to npr.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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