AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
