So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
