Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
