Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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