U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
