maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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