East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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