i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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