So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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