there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
