Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize