can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
