Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well I just put wine in my tea
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
