You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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