Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
