bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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