I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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