This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
