you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize