you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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