I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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