I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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