What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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