Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
