maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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