You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
