I accidentally had phone sex last night
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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