Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
