i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it glows. i had to have it.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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