craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
