Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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