that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
