We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
