So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
