Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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