you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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