Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
