I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
