i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
