Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
