I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize