I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
