I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
