so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
