I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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