when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
