Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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