Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Im part way to drunk.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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