Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
