I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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