i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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