that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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