Someone shit on the floor
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
