i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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