My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
