I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize