There is no way he is gay with that hair.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize