I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
