i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
