i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
