He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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