His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
