Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
