she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
