last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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