You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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