clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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