Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
