he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
